The Art of Choosing
Five Steps Toward Self-Efficacy & Well-Considered Choices
Image by Tinon Klauser from Unsplash
Hold sacred your capacity for choosing; Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
You are not your body or your hairstyle, but your capacity for choosing; Epictetus
Born to a prominent family in 121 AD, Marcus Aurelius spent his teen years immersed in the study of rhetoric and philosophy. At age 39 Marcus Aurelius became head of the Holy Roman Empire and reigned as Emperor for almost twenty years from 180 to 161 CE. Although he held absolute power, Marcus Aurelius was celebrated for leading with restraint, kindness and humanity. It was personally important to him to lead from a position of well-considered choices and serving the greater good. In the last decade of his life, Marcus Aurelius penned a collection of essays entitled Meditations, a series of private letters that contain maxims about wisdom, duty, and the power that lies in our choices.
Before Marcus Aurelius’ time, Epictetus (55–135 AD) was born a slave in a household where education was prioritized for everyone. After years of heavy labor, Epictetus obtained his freedom and became a sage and respected teacher. Epictetus counseled students and community members to focus on what they could control and to build their capacity to make thoughtful, wise choices.
Our Capacity for Choosing
The message from the ancient world on choosing is clear — our circumstances and personal world are largely determined by our choices. By our teen years, most of us have a good degree of control over what we consume, what we do, the media we take in, and how we speak and present ourselves. Beyond early years and initial circumstances, we largely design and define our lives via the choices we make. We have the incredible capacity to employ logic, and reason, and to engage conditional thinking to make choices. Those choices enable us to navigate people and situations, to see past hardships, and to steer our present and future. We make some choices actively, and we make other choices by simply going along with what others have decided. Even when we choose not to choose, we are making a choice. We can choose to be interested, polite, indifferent, curious, spiteful or enthusiastic. We can choose to study, to binge Netflix, to show up, to work hard, or to coast and accept whatever happens to come our way. We make choices all day, every day and our choices carry great weight. The question is, can we more consistently make positive choices that work for us and serve others? The answer lies in building our sense of personal agency and self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is key to making empowering choices that align with our priorities, and positively shape our lives.
Personal Agency — What is It and How to Get More
Our belief in our ability to meet challenges and our claim to our own personal agency are key to making empowering choices. Are we spectators or are we in the arena? Are we waiting for others to do something or are we acting and influencing the way our lives evolve? Personal agency is an individual’s capacity to choose, to act, and to make things happen. While we all have agency, people acknowledge and use personal agency in varying degrees. Personal agency is about taking responsibility for who we are, how we respond, and how we frame and shape experiences. A person with less agency rejects responsibility and believes themselves to be upended by people, luck and events outside of themselves. A person with strong personal agency perceives that they are a protagonist that directs and influences their attitude, actions, and life circumstances. Personal agency is tied to one’s sense of self-efficacy, our belief in our own self-worth and ability to complete tasks and meet challenges. Effective steps toward increasing personal agency and self-efficacy include:
1. Control Stimuli: Tony Robbins reminds “Where focus goes, energy flows.” Agency begins with focus. Distraction effects our peace and capacity to think deeply. Ongoing distraction and what we see, hear, and experience day after day matters.
2. Be Selective: We move in the direction of the company we keep. What to do? To the extent possible, surround yourself with individuals who are kind, who encourage service and accomplishment, and who are more accomplished in ways than you are. Spend time with people who have high expectations of themselves and life, and who believe in you.
3. Prioritize Fitness: Clear out the cobwebs and invest in yourself by breaking a sweat and exerting yourself on a regular basis. The benefits of rigorous exercise for our mental, emotional, social and physical health can’t be denied. Begin. Take the first step no matter how small, and work up to moving to the point of exertion multiple days every week.
4. Frame & Position Yourself: Believe in your own potential to progress and grow. Position yourself as a grateful, humble, lifelong learner. Enjoy the process of discovery, and commit to gratitude, caring, and benevolent curiosity about the world and others.
5. Decide & Act: Take a limited amount of time to gather facts and to consider options and risk. Then with the primary objective at top of mind, decide and act. Leave procrastination and worry behind and don’t wait for 100% assurance or all possible facts. You don’t need either to make a reasoned, sound decision. Pull a lever and move on.
The power that lies in the choices we make was recognized in antiquity and it is recognized today. Building self-efficacy, acknowledging our capacity to think and reason, and claiming our personal agency are key to designing and defining our lives, and are key to artful choosing.